Difficult Neighbor? Try These Tips!

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You love your apartment. It’s easy to take care of. Maintenance comes and helps you with any issues that arise. You love the amenities, and you can’t imagine moving out.

And then, you encounter a difficult neighbor. Maybe they’re always complaining about the volume of your television or where you park your car. For whatever reason, the two of you just haven’t gotten off to a good start.

But don’t let that be the end of trying to establish a relationship with your neighbor. You can turn it around.

Here are a few tips to help you with that problematic neighbor.

  • Say Hello: There’s a really simple way to start to mend fences if you find that you and your neighbor aren’t seeing eye-to-eye – and that’s to say hello – and to keep on doing it. By repeatedly greeting your neighbor in a friendly manner, you may be able to at least improve your relationship to where you are cordial with one another – if nothing else.
  • Get to Know Each Other: If it seems to be getting a little better with the friendly hellos and waves, then why not actually take the time to get to know one another? Share a cup of coffee or tea together and see if you have anything in common. You might be pleasantly surprised to find you do have some common interests.
  • Be Proactive: What should you do if you have an event (maybe a small party) or activity (such as rearranging furniture) that might possibly disturb your neighbor? Be proactive. 
    • Reach out to your neighbor before something happens and give them a heads up. When you share that things might be a bit noisy – and for a good reason – they’ll be more likely to forgive and forget.
  • Don’t Gossip: Getting together with a neighbor to gossip about another neighbor is never a good thing. It can easily ruin relationships and really doesn’t work to solve the problem. Avoid gossip at all costs – and if other neighbors try to engage you – politely decline to partake.
  • Ignore Things When You Can: Guess what? Nobody is perfect. And if you want to work to improve your relationship with your neighbor, then ignore things when you can. This is really a case of “pick your battles” – and you’ll need to decide what’s important to you and what isn’t.
  • Document Problems and Encounters: If you do encounter a difficult neighbor, it’s important to document any problems and encounters you may have. Keep a written record of any issues or communication you have with the neighbor and if you have any notes or emails, hold onto them, too. Doing so will help to show how you tried to handle the situation to the best of your ability.
  • Write Them a Note: If you find that talking to your neighbor doesn’t seem to do you any good or that things seem to escalate in a manner that’s not good for either of you, then try writing them a note. Share your concerns in a manner that is professional and ask if the two of you can come to some sort of resolution. Make sure you keep a copy for yourself and note the date it was delivered.
  • Speak With Management: Of course, if it seems that no amount of talking or letter writing is helping things to improve, speak to the management of your apartment. They may be able to offer some advice or act as an intermediary.

Apartment living is fantastic! And you’ll find that most neighbors are extremely friendly and willing to help. But, if you find yourself with a difficult one – try some of these tips to improve the situation, and, hopefully, you’ll turn things around. 

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